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14 February 2015 @ 12:29 am
Nightmare dressed up as a daydream.  
Oh hey! I'm like, alive and stuff. So still here, there's just not much happening. I had my annual physical today and when I told my doctor pretty much the same thing she gave me this dubious look, lol. Like, are you sure? It's been a year. And yeah. I'm super exciting like that and all. Really, thrilling. Mostly I take naps, perpetually fuck up my sleeping "patterns" even more, and occasionally go to work and or music when they aren't canceled because of snow or something. It's the life, blah. I worked literally two days this week so far. Tomorrow I'm 8-12, so I can sneak that in before, yes - more fucking snow. I'm so fed up with it at this point that I can't even muster up the energy to complain about it. Like, what the hell ever. There's 30+ inches on the ground right now, but it's cool. Add 10-14 inches more along with super intense winds. It's all good. Keep hating on Boston. I'm feelin' the love. (okay I guess I can still complain but really). I'm hoping work actually has the common sense to close on Sunday, because they're screwing themselves over. These are slow months to begin with. Then they have us come in during blizzards, have to pay us for nothing, then have to cut shifts because they were paying us and making no sales. That's what happened to one of my shifts this week, got cut. Whatever. My check next week will probably be for $2. It's fine. Ugh. I really need to start job hunting again and go on actual interviews. So many people are quitting for better jobs recently. It's really turning that stupid lightbulb on in my head, but I'm just not motivated. I don't even know what I'd apply for. Anything that pays more? Should I put that as the objective on my resume? And when they look at my resume all they see as skills are retail and sales. One office job, a random paralegal certificate that I clearly didn't use, and some pitiful writing opportunities. It's just awful.

I think for Valentines Day I am going to re-join Plenty Of Fish and torture myself with that whole thing again. My doctor mentioned it, lmao - saying how that's a full time job in and of itself. Which is true, I just don't - shocker - have the motivation. I keep thinking that maybe Dan and I will get together, I mean, he shows interest but he doesnt? If that makes sense. And it's been too fucking long trying to figure out the nothing really that there is though. I feel bad, but I just can't do it. He has like ZERO indicators. If he had any indicators, I could maybe throw out a hint or something for him to run with, but nope. Nothing. So annoying/aggravating. We're probably better just as friends anyway I'd guess. We get along but don't really have many similar interests other than band, it seems like. He's a workaholic and stuff too, which is fine and all - but it's a parks and rec town job which kinda weirds me out for some reason. I don't know. Like is he just gonna do that forever? Who knows. Blah. Anyway. So yeah. Might be time for that, ugh. I'd do OkCupid, I would, but everyone on there is such a sketchball (at least in my area). That, or I get just super creeped out when people I actually know but definitely don't wanna date show up. I HATE DATING GUYS. WHYYYY.

Anyway. I'm gonna go eat a grapefruit, watch Suits, then read (the Death Cure - which I can't handle guys, really, I'm too attached to certain characters and that scares the shit out of me cuz bad stuff keeps happening - is anyone else reading this? ahhhhhh no) for way too long and then go to work at 8am. Yep. Sounds good. Hope everyone is doing well! I'm always around if anyone wants to chat via threads or messages or whatever. So feel free. I'll talk to you all later! <3

PS: As a happier note I will say that my checkup went really well. My doctor praised my health and called my skin perfect, even asked if I used anything special for it (which I really don't). So that boosted my ego a little. I guess I should find something other than health to worry about now, ugh.